Man, I Can't Believe I Killed That Bird! I'm Only a PGA Professional!

Tripp Isenhour, a Nationwide Tour (think: PGA Tour minor league) pro, is catching some serious heat for hitting balls at a protected hawk and killing it. First off, next to Scooter Libby, that may be one of the stupidest names I've ever seen. That being said, the following background is from PGATour.com: "Investigators said Isenhour killed the hawk because he was upset it was making noise as he tried to film an instructional video. He allegedly first drove in a golf cart toward the bird, then 300 yards away, to hit balls at it. When the hawk later landed within 75 yards, Isenhour's shots got closer until he eventually hit and killed it. The bird fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils, witnesses told the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission." He repeatedly refers to what happened as an accident, and explains that he was only trying to scare the bird off. From Golf.com: "The golfer, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, said it was foolish for people to believe he could have realistically hit the bird. 'That's obviously people who don't know very much about golf,' he said. 'To say it's a one-in-a-million shot for an accident like that to happen, you know, and when it did happen, I was very remorseful, very upset that it happened.'"

Sorry, stupid name. That's garbage and you know it. I know some things about golf, and you and I both know that you're good enough to hit a bird or anything else you'd like to hit, especially from a distance of 75 yards. I'd like to find out two more things: how high the bird was off the ground (the lower it was, the easier it would be to hit it), and what club he was using (ditto for a club with less loft). If he was hitting little floaters with a lob wedge, that would be one thing. There's less intent to actually hit the bird with one of those - it at least looks more like you're just trying to scare it off. But if he was hitting line drives, as one witness says he was, then it's pretty difficult to believe that he wasn't trying to nail that thing. Did he know he was going to kill it? I hope not. But was this a huge lapse in judgment, huge enough to maybe earn him a hefty fine? Absolutely. To add to the story, the same witness also says that Tripp got more and more excited the closer his shots were getting. That really doesn't help his case much.

Let me also say that you don't have to be a pro to pull a shot like that off. Arguably the proudest moment in my sporting life was the day Pete Thien, the pro at Delcastle, bet me a soda that I couldn't hit a tree about 200 yards away on the driving range. One swing later, I was chugging the Coke he bought me. Granted, I was using an Adams Tight Lies, so it was almost cheating, but I still hit it. So believe me, if a 15-year-old kid can pull that off, I have no doubt that, given the right circumstances, a tour pro can nail a bird at close range. Don't get me wrong, it's really bad luck for Tripp that the bird was a protected species. If the guy picking up balls in the range cart at Delcastle was a protected species, most of the golfing public in Delaware would owe some serious fines. So I get it - trying to hit things with golf balls can be fun. But for him to say he didn't think he had the skill to hit the bird, and to accuse those who disagree of not knowing what they're talking about is just digging the hole deeper. Intentional or not, this guy should have to pay out the ears in fines for being a moron and coming up with lame excuses. Case closed.